BEARD, DEFINED.

I’ve got no problem with people being gay, straight, or anything that happens to fall in between. You can choose to share your sexual preference, keep it locked in a safe, or just be normal about things.

But let’s all cut the SH!T.

I’m proud of Evan Lysacek for winning a gold medal in figure skating. He did everyone from Scott Hamilton to Doug Dorsey proud with his long program and upset victory over quad-spinning Ivan Icedrago of the Russians. (Writers note: Might want to spellcheck that name.) But seriously, we’re going to keep claiming this guy is a hetero heartthrob?

Can’t you just feel the sexual chemistry?

Dude had an awesome Olympics, did his country proud, and deserves any and all endorsement opportunities coming his way. He’s good looking, has cool hair, and obviously is flamboyant.

But the GUY WORE FEATHER MITTENS AND SEQUINS IN HIS ROUTINE.

Maybe he and Nastia Liukin end up happily ever after, but until then, I’m not going to use Twitter messages and a photo together as confirmation that the two are dating.