ESPN MAKES ME HATE THE WORD SCHISM

The only prescription is ‘More Brett Favre.’

Okay guys, we get it. Brett Favre is a Viking.

Yep, Brett Favre is a Viking. We don’t need Adam Schefter and Rachel Nichols, Skip Bayless and the idiots on First Take, and just about every other talking head on your network talking about it. Most of us Vikings fans are still warming up to this guy in purple, and we just aren’t there yet.

But here’s ESPN, jamming another Brett Favre story down our throats. It’s as if they have a market study that tells them that people want more cowbell Brett Favre.

(Every time I type Favre, WordPress and/or Safari/Firefox tell me Favre is misspelled. You’d think that they’d recognize the f-ing name by now, wouldn’t you?)

Today’s non-story is all about a “schism” in the locker room. It’s as if the Capulets and Montagues are suddenly roaming Winter Park, ready to lash out at any minute and start shedding blood over Favre’s “controversial” return to the NFL, and his ability to manipulate the coaching staff into letting him skip the first two weeks of training camp.

It’s bad enough that ESPN is reporting that they’re the first ones to break the news of this “schism.” That’s not even true. PFT’s Mike Florio broke this one nearly a day before Schefter and ESPN latched on to it and tried to make it their own.

First of all, this is a stupid story. There is no way to prove that it’s either true or false, and even if you could, I wouldn’t consider it newsworthy. There have always been grumblings that certain teammates don’t like each other. It’s hardly a secret that many guys in the Pittsburgh locker room hate Big Ben. When you get 53 guys together on a roster, you’re going to have people you just don’t like. Does that mean there are warring factions, or Crips vs. Bloods type encounters in the locker room? This isn’t a Jerry Bruckheimer coming of age gangster movie. This is the NFL.

Today’s St. Paul Pioneer Press has an article that seems to punch holes in the entire theory ESPN is promoting. Sean Jensen reports that any “schism” is news to 13 Vikings players, including nine starters.

Offered anonymity, players were asked how they felt about the quarterback battle and who they thought would start. None of them had heard teammates discussing any “issues” or “schisms.” Two players even spoke on the record about it.

“I’m in the mix, but I haven’t heard anyone talk about that,” tight end Visanthe Shiancoe said. “The locker room is not divided at all.

“Everyone is going to have their own opinions, and everyone is not going to like everyone all the time. But we don’t have time for that dumb sh!t.”

Pro Bowl defensive tackle Pat Williams had this to say:

“If someone did say something, it don’t matter because he isn’t one of the leaders on this team. The leaders are all together.”

For now, ESPN will continue to run with the Favre “schism” story until they — surprise! — broadcast the Minnesota Vikings on Monday Night Football this week. But it’s just another example of stupid journalism, Brett Favre rumor mongering, and more static coming out of the mouths of the worldwide leader.

This is what comes up when you YouTube “Vikings Schism.” Appropriate, huh?

Stop saying schism. You sound like idiots.